Dearest Precious,
NO GOODBYES TO 2007, JUST HELLO TO 2008!
(this is going to be an extremely long post wrapping up 2007 and a little personal thanksgiving)

It seems like just yesterday when 2007 started and tomorrow is its last day. I have alot of emotions running through me this very moment and I hope my mind wouldnt mix my words up. What was year2007 all about? Honestly, it was all about P'dheep Max. (http://www.rockyou.com/show_my_gallery.php?source=ppsl&instanceid=87211743) All the way since January til this very moment. I am proud to say, I have never had anyone like him in my life and although our time together is short, we made the best and the most of it and i have no regrets. Thankyou so much for giving me all the love, and making this relationship so precious and memorable that should there come a day I have to let you go, I can cry you a river cause you've been the best I've ever had. There's nothing more I will ask for, but you this entire life.
You have not only been a boyfriend to me, but also my bestfriend and the only person I can be totally open to. I only pray that as we move on into 2008, we bring along our memories of 2007 and work in hand together and that you will continue to be supportive. There aint no other man like you, baby.My personal motivator, my boost giver.. the reason behind my smile.. I have seen myself as part of your family, I have seen myself in you.. but the future, does it not see us together, maybe. But I know for sure, we'll make great business partners in 2008 and even if one day i get married to someone else.. (secretly wishing it was you) but hehh, if that one day comes I hope you will still be part of my life.. to babysit my kids since you love kids.. esp mine (: friends all the way! Lovelove!

I am certain I have neglected almost all my friends and the family. But I do not regret neglecting them for him cause he being a single individual could give me everything and be like so many friends and a family to me and I was treated well and with care and I assume that's all my friends would have wanted. My sincere apology to all friends for not being so myself and always being caught up in school, work and falling sick. And every little free time i found I chose to spend it with him and it was all worth it. I do hope to get back in the right track in 2008 and make up for all the loss.

There are alot of people I wish to thank now.
Firstly, my family, although a couple of time when I felt down, they pulled me down with extra pressure, I know in times of need, if i open up to them they will be the ones who will be there.. although not forever.. cause no one and nothing but memories are forever.. I know they will try to be there for me as long as they can. My siblings have been supportive in everything I do and I could never ask for anyone to replace them. My big cousins who understand what I am going through and chose not to say anything as they know relationships are all part of growing up, I thank you all for that.,

Next would be Dheep's family. I have found myself growing into the family. Grown totally attached to the younger sisters and older brothers and needless to say dheep himself. They have treated me like one of their own in their family that includes of cousins, jeev and vj. Vj, thanks for being part of us, and the family and going thru the whole process with each of us.Mummy who treats me just as fairly and we've had our 'talks' and every trip and sg holiday/time spent with each and everyone of you have been awesome. Thankyou so much for allowing me to share the ups and downs of your family like im one of them. Id love to be part of ya'll always, if that is what god has planned for me. I love you all . A family i've already had, a family i may never have.. ..

Next, the four people from my secondary school who means alot to me. JESSIE, thanks for putting up with me this whole year although I know I've hardly been around. We did make a few trips to wcp slacked and swinged here and there.. I do treasure those little moments. Im sorry if I made it seem as though I dont care, cause deep within me, i do. No more empty promises or even false hope in 2008. Sorry i've hurt you so much silently by simply not being around but i do hope you have understood me having known me for so many years. I love you so.
INTAN, SAMMY,FANA guess life has its own routes planned out for us and we all seem to be walking in different direction. I am glad once in this lifetime our roads have crossed.

Next PRATHEEP, thank you for being the closest guyfriend in the last 5years. I'm glad to know we have been even collegues although you helped someone else carry the dishes, I forgive you okay! I also very glad to know I can still turn to you and share with you whatever that runs through my head. A man of few words I say, but i know you've always been listening to whatever I had to rant.

MOKAN, although half the time you behave like a bitch to me, you're the next person after Dheep who makes me tear alot. Twice you failed me due to unforseen circumstances but I have kept it all aside cause you do mean some lotta shit to me. I hope everything is going on fine for you and it is only ironic that we hardly see each other despite staying just across the street!! A man of emotions. All you do is to feel me and vent my emotions out, like you yourself were angry or happy. Like the way you go' fcuk im going to punch his face' or whatsoever.. A big hug and a little kiss and the way you try to make up to me when things turn sour.. thankyou!! =)

ARVIN, I know you can get harsh and straight forward sometimes, especially when you feel i have changed and i dont really care anymore. I am glad I was able to put it across to you, that true friends should be the ones who should understand me best and provide me with everything i need even when i dont ask.. thankyou for being around.

Then, there are two very special girls, SARVESH AND SULAJA. Known sarvesh for a couple of years now but i am glad this remarkable year has got the three of us close and even though we seldom meet or contact im glad the both of you take the effort to keep this going. Through this ups and downs together we've watched each other and there's no one else but god i will thank for giving ya'll to me... bundle of joy.

Next, it's Kishore, more than words, all I can say is, you're my special friend.

Usha, dheep's little sister who never fails to keep me and my family smiling cause she's simply lovable!

And then, there is Faizal, the past are bygones and we never have to leave anything behind.. cause the friendship we had has brought us here..having you as one of the first few who i'd confide in- whatever the matter is, happiness joy or sorrow..

Karthigesanbecks, a senior from sec school who has always been around for me even if it was to ease my boredom through the night or give me a ride to the park. Okay fine, you're not shy anymore! and you've grown a little noisy! hahaa!!

Latashni, I put you through the worst last year, just because of you-know-who. But I am glad even then, you sticked around with me and although we're far in distance, we did manage to meet up a couple of time, go shopping and do the crazy things. If it was not for your support, last year would've been uncopable. Because of 2006, I am who I am in 2007 and you were part of the reason.

I MUST NOT FORGET MY UNISIM mates who have been with me since 2006. SARA FAN, NATASHA,DEON LEE,JOLENE,DANNY GOH,ANDY EDWARD,TRISH and CHRIS you all have played a huge role in my life in unisim through dmfs and dms. School life wouldnt be the way it has been these years if not for each one of you. We have been through the ups and downs but we pulled through and grew stronger. I am glad feb14th was spent with ya'll plus shimei, cause no one guy could have taken the place of ya'll and given me such a wonderful time. All our dates out, at eski bar, walas, i didnt go clubbing so the club isnt counted! and of course, balcony bar and the little after school mugging sessions we used to have.. most of the 'first' time things ive done with ya'll.. and each of you have played a huge role in my CA. even though the last two semester I hardly contributed either because i was sick and away or I was drowning in my world.. no one said or treated me in away i would be offended and helped me through my assignments and ensured I pulled through it with every help and strength.. thank you so much for being part of my success. One last semester, whether we're still in the school or out, or in a different class, I hope we will be a reason in each other's life for the many successes to come.

And finally, UMA, for being so nice to me, and being one of my fave. I am glad I never got jealous of you otherwise, things wouldn't have been the way it has been now. If I ever was jealous of you, we never would have been gotten this close.. And I am glad I understood you were his bestfriend and I was his ..and we've grown to be able to understand each other downroot without any misunderstanding.. thankyou so much my piglet. love you! and thanks to you that I got to know lavanya as well.

Last but not least, Lavanya. Although Ive known everything all along, I am glad you came forward to help me with my module. If not for the last minute sacrifice that you made, 4days of time,energy and sleep.. your efforts did pay off. I am glad I passed my modules. Thanks for being the reason of my success and having the confidence in me. love you poochi!

Finally, I have to thank my deceased maternal grandparents for all the love they have showered me with. If you both were still around, things would have been so much different. I am very certain I can lay on your lap and tell you both all the things that happens in my life.. including the things that i cant share with my parents.. (eg.bgr,friendship) Deceased Aunty Lyn, who became a reason in my life, who struggled to fight her life for her children and treated me with so much of care even when she was in bed. She had taught me about strength and pain when you lose someone in life. Strength, the one who is going away.. has to be strong and fight for what he/she wants til their last breath and pain, to leave this world even though you want to be part of it... to continue to share the love.. Deceased gram, you taught me patience and calmness. It was in your simple lifehood that I found serenity humbleness. Deceased godpa, I hardly spent time with you, except for the months you were fighting life in the hospital. I was scared, very.. but your willpower amazed me. It was glorious. To see a man, uncoincious, move and react to things... the finally miraculously speak but all only for a while...

FINALLY, thank you god for giving me this wonderful year where I found Dheep who has since been the most important thing to me, who has been like a family or part of my family to me. I know we have many more years to come and I am sure I will find strength and confidence in him like always. Thank you god for everything that happened this year, the lost of many people who mean alot to me.. you seem to take away the people who provide me with love and joy.. i dont know if it is just a test, but im not giving up. Thanks for putting me through all the hurdles and for giving me all the support from everyone around me to get over it.. even this very moment. The creater of all things, the one person who has given us human rights to do what our hearts desire.. the one person who allowed us to get ourseleves hurt but in turn teaching a vulnerable lesson behind every thing we do in life.

Thank you so much for 2007. It has been the best year.
( for those whose name not mentioned, dont you worry. that doesnt mean antyhing.. aight! )
(all from NPICS,al from SIM,all fromYHSS,agatha,misha,yanti,yufang,sexymama,shamee,daryl,prees - love you all! )


in the rain, we will find true comfort for ourselves.
in the rain, we will share the warmth of our bodies..
in the rain, we will cry our hearts out..
in the rain, even when it continues to rain on me.. i know you will walk by my side..
thank you, to the one who reminds me of me..
29th dec, the cutest thing we've ever done, make it rain on us.

there is something I have found so real, for the first time in my entire life.
It is something I never will let go, never ever!
It is something I feel worth fighting for cause I believe I have the strength and the ablity to fight for it but why dont you believe in me.

Hold my hand, im sure we will go all the way so far, even if it has to be just friends, just like the way we were in 9months ago.



pure pain.

would you rather go all the way out for something you WANT
or
would you rather keep yourself away from it because thats not what OTHERS want..


Is it your life for you to create and go all the way out,against all odds or do you have to consider EVERYTHING and everyone's feelings ..??
I REALLY wonder.

Dearest Precious,

Change is the only constant. Ironic as it seems, it really is! Over and over again I find myself at the extreme end, losing end sitting all alone frozen in time. How I really miss the way things were.. anyway, christmas is coming right up. EVERYONE'S INVITED! old friend, new friend nursery primary secondary sim np friends. all of you! :D







Dear Precious,

And so it hurts.
more than words.
more than just one friend.
everyone.

somehow, i feel like running away, so far far away.
and the worst thing that could ever happen to me, happened.
Final semester, here I come.
28th decemeber will tell me if I can make it (:

pass pass pass damn you microeconmics!
Okay what a meaningless post this is.
Heaven, where are you?

SENDINGGGGGG laptop for servicing AGAIN.
which means, i wont be here and im going to be busy studying for tuesday's exam!
im off.

It's DECEMBER 2007.
Christmas and New year 08 is coming right up.
So as I was clearing my cupboard and i realize
i've got ALOT of clothes
and I dont actually wear them, at all. hehh.
SEASONAL.

First pile.

EXQUISITE FEMME
IM VERY GAY :D
I ♥ my babyboy
I ♥ my girlfriends.
here it comes a beautiful collision
is happening now there seems no end
to where You begin and there I am now
here it comes, you and I collide♥

Now that I've found you, I cant let you go. I build my world around you, cause I need you so. Baby,even though you dont need me.♥
THE REST, FOR YOU TO FIGURE IT OUT!